Category: Happiness

Relax and Be Carefree

Fish and Cars

(Coromandel Satin Pajama Set – Natori, Jamie Heart Pajama Set – Three J NYC, Cotton Sleepshirt – Charter Club, Fresh Lagoon Muscle Top and Plaid Pajama Pants – Jenni Pajamas, The Pink Lady 3D Bow Tank and Printed Pant Set – Hello Kitty Intimates)

“The only way to true happiness is to live in the moment and let the future unfold on its own.” – Author unknown.

Outer Beauty

To relax at home, wear comfortable pajamas that are soft and loose. Avoid purchasing crisp materials that you would need to iron before each wear. Choose satin or cotton. I love satin pajama sets because they are always comfortable and kind to the skin. I also love cotton pajama sets in brighter color because color makes me happy. Find pajamas that you love and go forth and shine!

Inner Beauty

The sky is light blue today. I could hear the sounds of wind, branches pulling and pushing against the window. A sparrow thrives to stand on the edge of the skylight, occasionally putting its weight against the glass, occasionally flapping its wings. The light from the sun turns golden.  Beautiful, it is.

For a long, long time, I did not remember what it is like to be carefree. I would wake up, check my cell phone and take a business call before sun rises. I would drive to work without a minute to breathe and pray only in the car facing traffic. I would work, meetings after meetings, e-mails after e-mails, and analysis after analysis. Sometimes lunch did not begin until 3 or 4pm, and work did not end until pass midnight. And there were obligations, household chores and a list of to-dos for tomorrow with a deadline of yesterday. My pursuit of perfection, I discovered, was not the answer to happiness.

Only when I re-learned how to relax and be carefree did I begin to enjoy each minute of my life without worry.

1.     Live one day at a time.  Make it your policy to live your life day by day. If you are in a relationship, refrain from thinking (or fantasizing) about tomorrow, which creates an awkward clip of instant relationship in your mind that scares your partner away – just be grateful that you are with your partner for the day. If you are searching for the perfect man or woman, refrain from obsessing about possibilities of (or with) such men or women that you have forgotten to enjoy your time with yourself, your friends or your family. If you are looking for opportunities, take steps to send out your resume, improve your interviewing skills and find something you love – and then let go and enjoy the moment.

2.     Allow yourself to be.  Dr. Wayne W. Dyer in Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life  recommends that you let go of any labeling, defending or judging and allow yourself to be. Focus on your inner self and trust your instincts. Dale Carnegie in How to Stop Worrying and Start Living teaches us a) to treat unjust criticism as compliments because nobody kicks a dead dog, b) use an umbrella to keep unjust criticisms from running into our necks and c) embrace constructive criticisms from ourselves and others. Thus, allow yourself to be without judging yourself, without allowing judgment from others to affect you. Let your hair down, Carnegie advises. Allow yourself to be.

3.    Allocate your time.  One lesson I learned from Benjamin Franklin in The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin is his allocation of time for the day, which has helped me manage my time efficiently and effectively. I would sit down the night before and program the agenda for tomorrow. I would allocate the number of hours I would spend tomorrow for each task. For example, if I decide to work for 10 hours, exercise for 2 hours, pay a bill for 30 minutes and wipe the kitchen sink for 30 minutes tomorrow, I would mark these tasks on my calendar. If I had to study for a history exam tomorrow, I would allocate an hour to learn each sub-topic, making sure I know the interplay between each topic (and sub-topic) and understand the significance of each event.  If I did not get to each task (or each subject), I let it be.  This method of allocating time not only helped me earned A’s in my classes and allowed me to work, volunteer and attend school at the same time; it has also helped me be worry free.

4.    Cultivate positive thoughts. I am generally a positive person, so it is naturally easier for me to be positive. However, there are times when I want to (and need to) cultivate positive thoughts, especially when a challenge is bigger and beyond my control or when a person I interact with is more negative than I am accustomed to. It is in these situations when I had to purposefully modify my thoughts, for we become our thoughts. When I think about finding a parking space within the next five minutes, I find a parking space within the next five minutes. If I doubt about finding any parking space at all, I wouldn’t be able to find a parking space. Thus, I believe cultivating a positive outlook on life not only attracts positivity – it allows you to relax and be carefree.

5.    Expect nothing in return, even gratitude. To be carefree, let go of any expectation from anyone.  Love and give generously without expecting anything back. This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned. I had a best friend whom I loved. I would do anything for her and I expected the same.  However, one day she decided not to be my friend (via instant messenger). I was devastated and sat in a random, empty church for serenity, seeking understanding from God.  Years later, we became friends again. Again, despite our differences and values, I gave – I paid for dinner when she had no money, accompanied her to places when she needed a companion and loaned her money whenever she needed it. And again, she decided not to be my friend (via text). Instead of feeling devastated, however, I felt a sense of relief, because I no longer expected anything from her. Instead, I sent her love and light.  In the process, I learned the definition of unconditional love. Apply this concept to your partner – Love and give generously to him or her and expect absolutely nothing in return, not even a thank you. You will be happier.

6.    Be thankful. Let go of any sense of entitlement, resentment of the past and worries of tomorrow. Be grateful for the things that you are blessed with. Today, I am thankful that I could see the beautiful blue sky, the golden rays of light through the skylight, the sparrow standing on the edge of the window, the leaves and branches dancing back and forth in accordance with the sound and rhythm of the wind. I am thankful for having the ability to drive, to type, to feel, to experience, to live, to breathe. And I am thankful for family and friends whom love and choose to spend time with me (and accept me for who I am).  I am grateful for the ability to change, for changes, the ability to create memories, for memories, for the ability to hope, for hopes. Be thankful every day.

7.     Have faith in God or Your Higher Power. If you believe in God or a Higher Power, release the need to handle and resolve all of your problems, troubles and challenges by yourself – ask, rely and believe that God or Your Higher Power would help you! Pray for wisdom and guidance every day. Find the courage from something greater than yourself and trust that you are not alone. Do the best you could, let go and let God, Your Higher Power or the universe takes care of the how. And in the meantime, relax, be carefree and act cheerful – for the rest of today, one day at a time.

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2013, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.

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