Tagged: love yourself

Thrive to be a Man With Character

 

 

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“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”—Malcolm S. Forbes.

Outer Beauty

New York city is defined by millions of yellow taxis and large crowds. Some people say that this city is full of arrogant assholes. Some people even say that they deserve to carry such pretension merely because they survive thrive in such a hard beautiful city. I say that New York city is full of millions of individuals, each with his own unique story. And here, New York to me, as a person, is defined by the men and women who laid on the tiny grass of Central Park at night, taxi drivers who refused to charge me any fees, poets with their vintage typewriters drafting a poem for $0.25, restaurants with Japanese toilets that caused a few giggles (and screams) among girls and pool places where good friends hang out. She is strong, fun, flexible.

I am sitting on a lounge chair of the Square booth after cruising Project New York. I admit – I love PoolTradeShow, where designers and artists display new items specifically for the boutique market. And I am amazed that I found a company, Solid Threads, that make “clothing with character.” As Brian Carr, founder of Solid Threads, told me his story, I was pleasantly surprised – a clothing company that cares about character. One by one, I am finding, speaking with, being connected to, individuals whom not only have the strength to build companies from scratch, they carry the strength that change the world around them – beyond the successful companies that they have built. And that is truly awesome.

The tees speak for themselves – buy one at http://www.solidthreads.com. Wear one with a pair of jeans or khakis and you’re set!

Inner Beauty

Project New York features clothing, accessories and shoes for men. Beyond physical beauty, men with character are sexy because of the following:

1. Men with Character Do What is Right. Character is who you are when no one is looking. Men who have character choose to do the right thing even when no one is looking. He is not perfect and he does not always choose the correct course of action. However, he makes things right. He makes a commitment and follows through with it. He thrives to be a better man.

2. Men with Character are Courageous. He has fears. In fact, he is afraid of many things. However, he has the courage to respond to fear. When he is afraid of his emotions (which he has bottled up), he is not afraid to face it – to feel the pain, to experience it, to walk toward his emotions. When he wants to run away, he marches toward resolution – working with another individual, diminishing problems instead of allowing problems to destroy relationships (whatever type it is).

3. Men with Character are Humble.  He has the confidence and courage to be vulnerable – He does not need to be always right, first and the best, and he could and would admit it when he is wrong. They could step aside, observe their past actions and say that they’ve made mistakes. And such mistakes are what make us human, what make us stronger, grow a little bit deeper.

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2014, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.

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Buy an Item; Save the World

Fish and Cars“To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind.” — Pearl S. Buck

Outer Beauty + Inner Beauty

As a consumer, I attempt to shop consciously. I purposefully avoid spending money at companies that exploit and/or violate the human rights of mankind to make a dime. Thus, I was happy to meet a number of social entrepreneurs at Magic Marketplace in Las Vegas, Nevada whom have started something that matters – and allow you to save the world, one item at a time.

I truly believe that their products will allow you to show your outer beauty, as you will feel wonderful wearing their comfortable, beautiful creations, while, at the same time, empower your inner beauty to shine, as you are saving the world just by purchasing their products – by choosing to be part of something that matters.

1.   José Alejandro Flores, Founder & Jimmy Flores, Marketing, VOS Flips.

José and Jimmy both intended to attend a panel on social media at Magic Marketplace, where we accidentally met. Thinking that they were from the Silicon Valley, I asked, “Are you from San Jose?” No, they are not from San Jose! From Texas and with the motto of “afford to care,” VOS Flips creates soft and comfortable flip-flops made out of genuine rubber from Hevea Brasiliensis (natural rubber trees in Guatemala).

VOS Flips allows you, the consumer, to change the world, to care about the world around you, to make your world a better place. In fact, VOS means “you” throughout Central and South Africa. Thus, you are empowered to make a difference – by simply purchasing a pair of flip-flop.

VOS Flips saves the world not only by aligning with the United Nation Global Compact in its business practices, but it also cares by building on site schools in its sourcing community, providing educational supplies, establishing its first health clinic and of course, making sure everyone’s feet is happy.

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(A pair of 
VOS Flips)

Providing School Supplies
(Source, VOS Flips, providing school supplies).

Educationd
(Source, VOS Flips, educating children in the community)

2.   Christian and Steven Cremer, Founders, B Frog.

I asked Christian and Steven the meaning behind “B Frog” when I first met the brothers at Magic Marketplace. In the Mayan culture, frogs are a symbol of good luck. Therefore, “B Frog” means “Be Lucky.” I was lucky to have gained deeper insights into the company, as Christian perfectly arranged the positioning of each piece of clothing for a photograph, proudly displaying his creation.

Because the brothers desire to mix contemporary designs with traditional textiles and fabrics from around the world, they launched first with traditional Mayan handmade textiles as they were born and raised in Guatemala. And the apparels are nice. I would wear a B Frog polo with dashes of the colorful and silky fabric of the Mayan culture in the pocket details – for work or for play. And I would be proud that by purchasing this polo shirt, I am vicariously giving back to the community, as Christian and Steven were inspired to care after reading “Start Something that Matters” by TOMS’ founder, Blake Mycoskie.

With a motto of “You Buy We Give,” B Frog provides fifteen (15) meals to children in need for every product sold. And the company provides the meals directly to the children in Guatemala, a country where one of every two children under the age of six suffers from chronic malnutrition, one of the highest rates of malnutrition in the world. It implements a School Feeding Program that delivers meals with high nutritional value along with training and supervision for its staff. It asks us to “B Caring!”

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(Polo and Bag – B Frog)

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(Christian at its B Frog Booth, Magic Marketplace)

B CARING (8)
(Source: B Frog, Christian and Steven in B Frog shirts, providing meals to children)

B CARING (12)
(Source: B Frog, Christian and Steven in B Frog shirts, with the children in the community)

3.   Steven Weinreb, Founder and Chief Inspiration Officer, Civic Duty

The sneakers at Civic Duty stood out among millions of shoes at Magic Marketplace crying for attention.  Not only are they cool, they are made out of Tyvek – a lightweight, waterproof and recyclable material. I carefully studied a pair of the Civic Duty sneakers: comfortable, light and durable.

But beyond the shoes is a man who cares about the world we live in.  I could sense Steven’s passion as our conversation led to a discussion on the pursuit of the things we love.  Every year, Civic Duty, with a motto of “conspire to inspire,” designs an exclusive shoe for an American social cause and donates 100% of its profits to the charity.

Fish and Cars
(Sneakers – Civic Duty)

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(Steven at the Civic Duty Booth at Magic Marketplace)

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(This year, Civic Duty donates 100% of the profits from the sale of this pair of shoes to Common Ground Relief)

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2013, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.

Be a Superhero

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(Big Wow, San Jose 2013)

“With great power comes great responsibility.” – Spider-Man

Outer Beauty

Many of the female superheroes today are big breasted with tiny waists and large hips because these characteristics are traditionally imagined and fancied by men. The advantage of creating a superhero outfit for yourself is that you would not only change and rewrite history, you would also provide yourself with the ability to define yourself and participate in the diversity of upcoming female superheroes – and this ability of self-definition is powerful.

To create a superhero outfit for yourself, consider the following elements:

1.        Be authentic. Know who you are and what you love, and design a superhero outfit that represents you. If you rather choose to wear shirts and jeans instead of tight corsets and triangular bikini-like shorts because you would be more comfortable in your skin, your outfit is acceptable as long as they are comfortable to you in action – and would not be torn apart.

2.        Incorporate your personal brand. Are you sweet and girly, or hot and sassy? Does your branding change depending on challenges and circumstances? Will you give yourself a logo? And what makes you different? Consider creating a superhero outfit that incorporates your personal brand.

3.        Embrace originality. When designing your superhero outfit, there are no limits. Be cape-less if you desire to be down to earth. Be colorful if colors make you happy and vibrant. Be conservative if you wish to attract less attention to your chest and gluteus maximus. Be a leader of your own creation – there is no need to follow any existing trends.

Wear your superhero outfit and shine!

Inner Beauty

As a superhero, you consciously choose to make this world a better place. At times, you may feel lonely or misunderstood because principals come with a cost. At times, you may feel exhausted because you are constantly taking action to further a bigger purpose while managing the mundane of day-to-day life. And at times, you may feel hopeless because your enemies and their schemes are strong – and evil. However, there is a glow of light in your being that overcomes and fabulously fights for the greater good.

1.         Find your superpowers.  You have strengths. You may be strong and love to travel. You could fly. You are courageous and nothing can hurt you, emotionally or physically. You could be invincible. You have the ability to be observant without being noticed. No one can see you. You could be invisible. You have a willful mind and your thoughts come true. You could have the power of telekinesis. You have a natural ability to influence others, learn their thoughts and develop instant trust. You could read minds. You enjoy the taste of every bite and you run as fast as a Tesla roadster. You could be fast, very fast. You know when it will rain without checking the weather. You could control the acts of God. You fit in everywhere and dress appropriately for the occasion. You could shape shift. You experience a number of accidents but always come back stronger. You could regenerate. Find your superpowers.

2.         Be true to your moral code.  What motivates you to save the world? Is it a sense of responsibility, a calling, a personal vendetta or a strong belief in justice? And what is your moral code? Unlike the existing superheroes, do you believe that you have a life of freedom, that you must love yourself first, that it is the responsibility of the state to protect its people and that you choose to kill criminals and give justice and protect the world because you care – and it makes you feel good.

3.         Take action.  When something ain’t right, speak up and do the best you can to make it right – in your own personal life and society at large. When you are true to your moral code and you use your superpowers to do so, your actions will make this world a better place by destroying demons and villains (whether a negative thought or a giant monster), one at a time.

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2013, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.

Find a Role Model

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(Wonder Con, San Francisco 2011)

“I don’t want to be a supermodel; I want to be a role model.” — Queen Latifah

Role Models

For this throwback Thursday, I want to inspire you to find a role model.  When I was at Wonder Con in 2011, I was excited to find female superheroes. They are feminine yet fearless, powerful and courageous.  They are women I could look up to.  And they come in different shapes and sizes.  Find one that would inspire you to shine!

Inner Beauty

When you are looking for a role model, consider the following elements:

1.         Determine the characteristics you love.  What are some traits you personally admire? When I was going to school at the University of California, Berkeley, I consciously chose female professors who had a mind of her own, the ability to challenge the norm and excellent presentation skills. As I was learning the subject, I would imagine that I was in her shoes, speaking the way that she did, with gestures just like her. I certainly love the following characteristics in women: fearlessness, achievements, courage, confidence, empowerment and resilience. Sometimes these characteristics are not found in one person – I would find a number of role models, a number of people, that have one, some or all of these characteristics that I admire.

2.         Emulate the characteristics that you love.  Learn how your role model displays the characteristics that you love. For example, I encountered a female Chief Executive Officer whom asked me out to lunch out of the blue. It turns out that she was networking. I thought she was brave – and down to earth. I had lunch with her, exploring her role and learning how I could help. And thereafter, I thought it would be fabulous to learn a little about challenges that female CEOs face. Just like this woman whom requested to have lunch with me out of the blue, I requested and set up lunches with a few female CEOs to learn about their lives. And I became wiser from their experiences.

3.         Pass it forward if you choose to.  No matter what your role is in your life, you could make a difference in someone’s life if you choose. I have a few official mentors whom helped me and I have been a mentor to a few people in my lifetime so far. It is rewarding to see high school students go to college, post graduate students find career opportunities and just friends finding an answer to a challenge that they may be facing.  Go out there and give someone a hand!

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2013, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.

Simplify and Organize Your Life

Fish and Cards
(Cabinet – Room & Board, End Table – Room & Board, Jars – Crate & Barrel, Flower table arrangement vase  – LSA)

“Live simply so others may simply live.” – Mother Teresa.

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”  – Hans Hofmann, Introduction to the Bootstrap, 1993.

“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”  – William Morris.

Orderly Organize Things

Earlier this year, I spent an enormous amount of time organizing my home. It was organized prior. However, I wanted to conduct a thorough “walk through” of everything I own to ensure that each item in my home is something I love, is functional or is beautiful. I decided to focus on one room at a time. Thus, I started with the closet. Before I put clothes away, I thought through where each type of clothing would live.  Each item, hence, lives in its home accordingly.

I organized my clothing by occasion. My walk-in closet contains my shirts, trousers and skirts for work. My armoires house my coats and jackets. Dresses for special occasions live in the closet in one of the other rooms. Focusing on one area at a time, I tried on every piece of clothing and made a decision to either a) keep the item, b) fix the item, c) sell the item or d) donate the item.

For clothes that are in dressers, empty the space first. Thus, I took all the dresses out of all the drawers of a dresser, tried on every single piece and sorted accordingly. For those pieces I decided to keep, I folded and placed them on an empty space where I could spread the dresses I chose to keep by color and then by material. After I finished grouping all the dresses, I put them in their home, by color and material, respectively. I did the same when organizing my sweaters, jeans, shorts, t-shirts and the rest of my closet.

I use beautiful bowls to display jewelry where I could see them as I find the panoply of earrings, necklaces and bracelets both aesthetically pretty and functionally useful. For drawers in the bathroom, I use bamboo dividers to organize beauty products. From time to time, I check their inventory, which is helpful, as I would not purchase lotions from Bath & Body or Victoria’s Secret if I still have a supply of them.

Small bookcases and clear boxes serve as excellent homes to shoes! because they will be easier to find, they will be organized and preserved neatly and they will not require lots of real estate.

It feels good! every time I finish organizing a room!

Inner Beauty

In this information age when instant gratification (and impatience) have become part of our culture, we are constantly overloaded with things to do, statuses to update, people to see, photos to upload and challenges to work through. It has become more important than ever to simplify our lives.

1. Clear your mind. Let go of any negative emotions, every single pieces of anger, frustration, bitterness, jealousy, envy and hate. Let go of any bad memories including any grudges, nightmares or horror in your mind’s eyes. Let go of any worries of the future. Take negativity out of your mind by doing the following: praying to God or your Higher Power, meditating and releasing your need to control, journaling your feelings, listening to the whisper of waves or the rhythm of rain, or hiking a lake or forrest. Afterwards, take action. Take action to resolve any conflicts that resulted in any negative emotions. Take action to learn about yourself and others so situations do not repeat. Take action to forgive and forget so the past does not paralyze you or adversely affect your future. Take action to build a healthier, more loving relationship, even if it requires you to look hard at yourself, take responsibility for your mistakes, provide yourself with tremendous self-compassion and give a sincere apology to another human being.

2. Eliminate negativity in your speech. Besides clearing your mind, watch your speech. Understand when you must speak naturally, when you must think before you speak and when you must not speak at all. When you are in stressful situations, when you are angry or when you face confrontations, you may say things that you do not mean or that you will regret later. Furthermore, gossips, criticisms and abuses will add negativity to your mind, not to mention the hurts that they cause to the target of such speech. Therefore, if you have such tendencies, admit, study and change the habit. Thrive to resolve conflicts. Be congruent in your tone of voice, message and body language. Ensure your content is positive, appropriate, accurate, necessary and prompt. And look forward to deeper, more authentic relationships!

3.  Say “No” to unnecessary tasks and commitments.  Give priority to those tasks and commitments that are urgent, add value to your life or allow you to spend quality time with those you love. Say “No” to and decline any offers that do not bring any joy or value to you. To manage all of my tasks, I consider each task’s importance, urgency and amount of effort required to complete the task.  Then, I prioritize. The highest priority goes to a task with high importance, high urgency and the least amount of effort. I use beautiful “To-do” lists to create and remind myself what I want to do for the day. When I was in college, I planned my week by the hour. To prepare for finals, I broke down a topic by subtopics and allocated an hour or two for each subtopic one or two days before a final. I’ve gotten straight A’s for semesters using this method! After making a list, finally and most importantly, I take action. Now, I could cross this off my list! Mission accomplished.

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2013, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.

Build Beauty on a Strong Foundation

Fish and Cars
(Trench Coat – Burberry, Watch – Michele, Black Skirt – Theory, Basic T-Shirt – American Vintage, Denim –  7 For All Mankind, White Dress Shirt – Vero Moda, Khaki Pants – Lauren by Ralph Lauren, Pearl Necklace – Brooks Brothers, Pearl Studs – Astley Clarke, Little Black Dress – Nicole Miller, Black Blazer – Theory, Black Trousers – Theory)

“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” George Bernard Shaw.

Outer Beauty

A strong foundation begins with classic pieces that serve as building blocks for your personal style. They are essential and timeless pieces in your wardrobe; therefore, invest in them. Purchase quality and they will last for years to come. And you will shine!

You will look sharp in a black suit. Ensure that the black blazer has at least two buttons. I love black blazers that emphasize my waist as it gives definition to my body. Also, I prefer my black pants to be slim or straight legged. If you are petite, a pair of black pants looks best without pleats, which tends to swallow you. In anticipation for meetings or interviews where a skirt would be more respectful to be worn than a pair of pants, I usually purchase a matching skirt. And I love suits in quality materials – It immediately transforms a person!

A white dress shirt is also an essential classic. You could wear it with your black suit or you could wear it casually with a pair of jeans or shorts. I love shirts with a little stretch in it as they are more form fitting, feel better on the skin and easier to iron. And I cannot live without t-shirts, because they are versatile. Personally, I prefer V-necks and t-shirts made of thin, stretchy and comfortable material.

In addition to a pair of good fitting jeans and khaki pants, a strong foundation would be lacking without a black dress. You could wear your little black dress to any event. To dress up the black dress, I usually wear a strand of pearls with a pair of pearl studs – and a trench coat.  You will look classy.  To dress down the black dress, I may use a colored belt or wear a pair of fashionable sneakers.

Be creative with your classic pieces and shine!

Inner Beauty

“Integrity” stems from the Latin word “integer” which means “whole” or “complete.” In other words, if you have integrity, you are whole, sound and complete in your inner world because you are honest and congruent. I strongly believe that a person who has integrity has a strong foundation to being beautiful within.

1. Be branded. Have (and adjust from time to time) a set of moral values and principles that you will live by. Think of what values you stand for, what you want to be known as, what characteristics you want to work toward. Brand yourself. Your own set of values and principles will provide you with self-confidence, help you set boundaries and attract people with similar values to you.

Here are some of my own personal moral values and principles: I am responsible for my own education. I work very hard to further the best interest of the company I work for and do not take any short cuts. I am open, honest and loyal to the man I am with and do not cheat. I do not steal any of my girlfriends’ interest(s). I only keep friends I could trust (I use a 3 strikes policy for people who lie). I will not leave when my nephew fails to do an activity – only after he accomplishes it (to teach him not to quit and to build positive associations). I strive to do the right thing, even when it is difficult.

2. Be honest. Besides telling the truth to others, I believe it is important to be honest with yourself, to be personally accountable. Without honesty, I find that it is very challenging to grow because it is easier to lie to ourselves or point the finger at someone else.  For example, if you obtained a C on a calculus examination instead of your goal of an A, be honest about the mistakes you have made and the efforts you could have put into studying instead of blaming the test (It’s unfair!), the teacher (She sucks!), the school (If only I go to Harvard!) or the system (Discrimination!).

If your attitude is one that stems from the fact that you have the internal locus of control – you will thrive! For instance, if you say to yourself “I am responsible for earning a C because I incorrectly applied the fundamental theorem of calculus” and learn the correct application of the fundamental theorem of calculus thereafter, then you will earn an A.

The truth will make you whole – and you will become a better person!

3. Be congruent. To obtain and maintain consistency in your character, act accordingly to your own values and principles. Be congruent in your thoughts, words and actions. When I was in Tahiti last year, I was reading Brene Brown’s book “Daring Greatly” on having integrity and being consistent with the people who look up to you (in other words, watch out for hypocrisy!). When you find an unpaid item in your shopping cart, go back and pay for it! When I checked out of the hotel in Tahiti, I noticed that the hotel did not charge me for the delicious dinner I had, so I immediately requested the hotel to make the adjustment. Since I am the kind of person who would pay for a movie, go out of the theater and then pay for another movie, this did not present a challenge.

What is challenging to me is showing service professionals respect by not being glued to technology.  Thus, my phone is in my purse when I am in line ordering food. Incidentally, I spoke with a taxi driver today who thought that people in New York are rude because they do not say hello and are always on their phone, which reminds me – time to sign off and spend quality time with my nephew!

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2013, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.

Expand your mind:

You are Naturally Beautiful

Fish and Cars

(Moisturizing Lotion – Clinique, Clarifying Lotion – Clinique, Anti-blemish Solution – Clinique, Eye Makeup Remover – Lancome, Baby Oil – Johnson & Johnson, Foam Cleanser – Clinique, Exfoliator – Lancome, Deep Cleansing Emergency Mask – Clinique, Sunblock – Neutrogena, Lip Balm – Clinique, Eye Cream – Lancome, Night Cream – Lancome)

Part of being beautiful is taking care of yourself, of your skin.

Outer Beauty

Wear sunscreen. Sunscreen is one of the most important steps in taking care of your skin because sun exposure can cause dark spots, wrinkles and skin cancer. I love the Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch Sunblock (with at least a SPF of 30) because it is non sticky and feels good on my face.

Because the skin around the eyes is very thin and delicate, I use an eye cream every day. Antioxidants such as Vitamin C boost collagen production and ingredients such as calendula reduce puffiness. I apply the Lancome eye cream for these very purposes!

In addition, I moisturize my face every morning with the Clinique moisturizing lotion so it is soft, smooth and shiny. If I have a break out, I use the Clinique Emergency Mask. I personally love this product, because all of my pimples disappear and my face is shiny again!

Because I have very dry skin, I could not live without Johnson & Johnson‘s baby oil. To moisturize and soften my skin, I use a dab of the baby oil immediately after a warm shower.  It helps to contain the moisture and soften dry skin.

Inner Beauty

Everyone is naturally beautiful. Society defines beauty as what we see in magazines. They are tall and thin and light-skinned. They wear expensive clothing that they may not own themselves. They have a team of service professionals whom apply their makeup, style and put on their outfits, photograph and market their beauty. Most of us are out there living our lives. Our faces are not printed in magazines but our faces, our bodies are still beautiful.

I have photographed models and non-models alike. I believe that make up could transform our outer beauty. I believe we could emphasize our best features and find our best angle. However, I find that the most beautiful people are those whose inner beauty shine. They are comfortable with themselves. They are who they are in their own skin. They have a confident attitude of – “This is who I am – Take it or leave it.”

Be yourself and embrace your uniqueness.

1. Do not compare yourself with others. All of my life, I am lucky that I am not jealous or envious. I learned as a child that someone somewhere could be smarter, prettier, wealthier or  more talented than you, and most importantly, that I am different. Therefore, I have learned to focus on what I want and what I need to do in order to create the future that I want. I have learned to be happy for others and learn from their success. Thus, acknowledge that you are different and unique. Define your life. It is yours to live.

2. Think independently.  As an independent thinker, I have the power of choice – what I would like to purchase, what I want to learn, whom I want to love, where I would like to travel, how I would like to make money. And this power of choice comes from knowing who you are and what you like. We are influenced every day by perceptions, perspectives, bias and values of other people. Thus, it is vital to discover and know your own values and live your life accordingly. Question and form your own opinions. Consider the perceptions of others but do not let others place a limitation on you or tell you what you should be. You choose what you want. You start and do the work. Don’t leave your life up to others.

3. Protect your dignity. Dignity is you as a whole. It is what you do, who you are. Do things that make you feel proud. Understand your personal boundaries and limits, and do not lower your standards to anyone.  Protect your self-esteem, and provide yourself with positive affirmations.  Separate facts from interpretations and do not jump to conclusions about what others think of you.  Respect and stand up for yourself and others. Although it is difficult, remain calm and practice empathy when you encounter a conflict. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made, and be grateful for what you do have.  Love yourself and others, and thrive to be whole and happy.

Have a beautiful day! – And let your inner beauty shine!

© 2013, Fish and Cars. All Rights Reserved.